Divorce is never easy. It can be especially challenging when attempting to communicate. You and your partner have been having trouble for a while. Perhaps the decision to end the marriage came as a surprise. Either way, finding a method of communicating effectively during this time is crucial.

Start With an Open Mind

Approach the divorce talk with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand where they are coming from. This can be especially helpful if your partner has a different perspective or opinion about the situation. When you listen to each other, you can build trust and find common ground, even amid a difficult conversation.

Be Honest and Transparent

Honesty and transparency are keys to effective communication during a divorce. Whether discussing the reasons for the divorce or making plans for the future, it is vital to be straightforward and upfront about your thoughts and feelings. Being honest and transparent will help build trust and avoid misunderstandings.

Use “I” Statements

When discussing your thoughts and feelings, it is important to use “I” statements instead of blaming each other. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel like I’m not being heard.” This approach focuses on your own feelings and experiences rather than placing blame on your partner. It can help create a more productive and less confrontational conversation.

Avoid Speaking in Absolutes

When communicating during a divorce, it is important to avoid speaking in absolutes, such as “always” or “never.” These statements can be inflammatory and make it harder to find common ground. Instead, try to focus on specific instances and how you felt in those moments. This can help create a more productive conversation and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an important part of effective communication during a divorce. This may mean establishing ground rules for discussions, such as avoiding certain topics or agreeing not to argue in front of the children. Setting these boundaries and sticking to them can help create a more positive and productive conversation.

Take Time to Reflect

Finally, take some time to reflect on the divorce talk before, during, and after the conversation. This can help you better understand what was said and how you both felt during the discussion. It can also help you identify any issues or areas of disagreement that need to be addressed.

Following these tips can make the divorce talk smoother and more productive. Remember, communication is vital to successfully navigating a divorce. Therefore, take the time to ensure that you are both in agreement about the process. You can find a way to move forward together with a little effort and understanding.


Q: What should I do if my partner is unwilling to communicate effectively during the divorce process?

A: If your partner is unwilling to communicate effectively, it can be difficult to navigate the divorce process. In this case, it may be helpful to seek outside help, such as a mediator or therapist, who can assist in facilitating the conversation. A neutral third party can help ensure that everyone’s needs are heard and addressed. They can also help create an environment that is more conducive to productive and respectful communication.

Q: How can I ensure that the divorce process does not negatively impact my children?

A: The divorce process can have a lasting impact on children. Therefore, it is important to take steps to minimize this impact. This could include:

  • Seeking therapy or counseling for the children
  • Involving them in discussions about the divorce in an age-appropriate manner
  • Minimizing conflict between you and your partner

It is crucial to keep the children’s well-being at the forefront of your mind during this process. This can help ensure that the divorce does not negatively impact them.

Q: Can I still communicate effectively with my partner if we have a lot of anger and resentment towards each other?

A: Yes, it is possible to communicate effectively with your partner even if there is a lot of anger and resentment present. However, it is necessary to take steps to manage these emotions and seek outside help. This could include therapy, mediation, or simply taking a break from the conversation and coming back to it later with a clearer mind. Remember, the goal is to communicate effectively and find a solution that works for everyone. Be mindful of your emotions and strive to maintain a positive and productive dialogue.

Q: What if my partner is not honest or transparent during the divorce talk?

A: If you feel your partner is not being honest or transparent during the divorce talk, address this issue directly. Honesty and transparency are crucial to effective communication during a divorce, so establish a level of trust and avoid misunderstandings. If necessary, seek outside help, such as a mediator or therapist. They can help facilitate a productive and honest conversation.

Q: Can I still communicate effectively with my partner if they are represented by a lawyer?

A: Yes, it is possible to communicate effectively with your partner even if a lawyer represents them. However, it may be necessary to communicate through the lawyers rather than directly with each other. In this case, it is important to be clear and concise in your communications. Work with your lawyer to ensure that your needs are being met. It may also be helpful to establish open lines of communication with your partner’s lawyer. This can keep everyone on the same page and working towards the same goals. By being proactive and intentional in your communication, you can ensure that the divorce process is as smooth and manageable as possible.

Contact Stange Law Firm in Tulsa

If you are ready to move forward with the divorce process, connect with a qualified Tulsa divorce attorney to get the help you need. An experienced family law attorney can provide guidance and advice on effectively communicating with your partner during this difficult time. They can also set out a plan for navigating the legal process.